Monday, February 28, 2011


Love,
Love is a verb.
Love is a doing word.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Alexander Wang



So simple and cute. The price, not so cute. $365.
Maybe next time.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

The Lady or the Tiger?

This is why I love Daria. This episode, "Dye, Dye Darling!" references my favorite short story, The Lady or the Tiger.

It's fucking amazing. READ.

THE LADY OR THE TIGER?
By Frank Stockton

In the very olden time there lived a semi-barbaric king, whose ideas, though somewhat polished and sharpened by the progressiveness of distant Latin neighbors, were still large, florid, and untrammeled, as became the half of him which was barbaric. He was a man of exuberant fancy, and, withal, of an authority so irresistible that, at his will, he turned his varied fancies into facts. He was greatly given to self-communing, and, when he and himself agreed upon anything, the thing was done. When every member of his domestic and political systems moved smoothly in its appointed course, his nature was bland and genial; but, whenever there was a little hitch, and some of his orbs got out of their orbits, he was blander and more genial still, for nothing pleased him so much as to make the crooked straight and crush down uneven places.

Among the borrowed notions by which his barbarism had become semified was that of the public arena, in which, by exhibitions of manly and beastly valor, the minds of his subjects were refined and cultured.

But even here the exuberant and barbaric fancy asserted itself. The arena of the king was built, not to give the people an opportunity of hearing the rhapsodies of dying gladiators, nor to enable them to view the inevitable conclusion of a conflict between religious opinions and hungry jaws, but for purposes far better adapted to widen and develop the mental energies of the people. This vast amphitheater, with its encircling galleries, its mysterious vaults, and its unseen passages, was an agent of poetic justice, in which crime was punished, or virtue rewarded, by the decrees of an impartial and incorruptible chance.

When a subject was accused of a crime of sufficient importance to interest the king, public notice was given that on an appointed day the fate of the accused person would be decided in the king's arena, a structure which well deserved its name, for, although its form and plan were borrowed from afar, its purpose emanated solely from the brain of this man, who, every barleycorn a king, knew no tradition to which he owed more allegiance than pleased his fancy, and who ingrafted on every adopted form of human thought and action the rich growth of his barbaric idealism.

<>

When all the people had assembled in the galleries, and the king, surrounded by his court, sat high up on his throne of royal state on one side of the arena, he gave a signal, a door beneath him opened, and the accused subject stepped out into the amphitheater. Directly opposite him, on the other side of the enclosed space, were two doors, exactly alike and side by side. It was the duty and the privilege of the person on trial to walk directly to these doors and open one of them. He could open either door he pleased; he was subject to no guidance or influence but that of the aforementioned impartial and incorruptible chance. If he opened the one, there came out of it a hungry tiger, the fiercest and most cruel that could be procured, which immediately sprang upon him and tore him to pieces as a punishment for his guilt. The moment that the case of the criminal was thus decided, doleful iron bells were clanged, great wails went up from the hired mourners posted on the outer rim of the arena, and the vast audience, with bowed heads and downcast hearts, wended slowly their homeward way, mourning greatly that one so young and fair, or so old and respected, should have merited so dire a fate.

But, if the accused person opened the other door, there came forth from it a lady, the most suitable to his years and station that his majesty could select among his fair subjects, and to this lady he was immediately married, as a reward of his innocence. It mattered not that he might already possess a wife and family, or that his affections might be engaged upon an object of his own selection; the king allowed no such subordinate arrangements to interfere with his great scheme of retribution and reward. The exercises, as in the other instance, took place immediately, and in the arena. Another door opened beneath the king, and a priest, followed by a band of choristers, and dancing maidens blowing joyous airs on golden horns and treading an epithalamic measure, advanced to where the pair stood, side by side, and the wedding was promptly and cheerily solemnized. Then the gay brass bells rang forth their merry peals, the people shouted glad hurrahs, and the innocent man, preceded by children strewing flowers on his path, led his bride to his home.

<>

This was the king's semi-barbaric method of administering justice. Its perfect fairness is obvious. The criminal could not know out of which door would come the lady; he opened either he pleased, without having the slightest idea whether, in the next instant, he was to be devoured or married. On some occasions the tiger came out of one door, and on some out of the other. The decisions of this tribunal were not only fair, they were positively determinate: the accused person was instantly punished if he found himself guilty, and, if innocent, he was rewarded on the spot, whether he liked it or not. There was no escape from the judgments of the king's arena.

The institution was a very popular one. When the people gathered together on one of the great trial days, they never knew whether they were to witness a bloody slaughter or a hilarious wedding. This element of uncertainty lent an interest to the occasion which it could not otherwise have attained. Thus, the masses were entertained and pleased, and the thinking part of the community could bring no charge of unfairness against this plan, for did not the accused person have the whole matter in his own hands?

This semi-barbaric king had a daughter as blooming as his most florid fancies, and with a soul as fervent and imperious as his own. As is usual in such cases, she was the apple of his eye, and was loved by him above all humanity. Among his courtiers was a young man of that fineness of blood and lowness of station common to the conventional heroes of romance who love royal maidens. This royal maiden was well satisfied with her lover, for he was handsome and brave to a degree unsurpassed in all this kingdom, and she loved him with an ardor that had enough of barbarism in it to make it exceedingly warm and strong. This love affair moved on happily for many months, until one day the king happened to discover its existence. He did not hesitate nor waver in regard to his duty in the premises. The youth was immediately cast into prison, and a day was appointed for his trial in the king's arena. This, of course, was an especially important occasion, and his majesty, as well as all the people, was greatly interested in the workings and development of this trial. Never before had such a case occurred; never before had a subject dared to love the daughter of the king. In after years such things became commonplace enough, but then they were in no slight degree novel and startling.

<>

The tiger-cages of the kingdom were searched for the most savage and relentless beasts, from which the fiercest monster might be selected for the arena; and the ranks of maiden youth and beauty throughout the land were carefully surveyed by competent judges in order that the young man might have a fitting bride in case fate did not determine for him a different destiny. Of course, everybody knew that the deed with which the accused was charged had been done. He had loved the princess, and neither he, she, nor any one else, thought of denying the fact; but the king would not think of allowing any fact of this kind to interfere with the workings of the tribunal, in which he took such great delight and satisfaction. No matter how the affair turned out, the youth would be disposed of, and the king would take an aesthetic pleasure in watching the course of events, which would determine whether or not the young man had done wrong in allowing himself to love the princess.

The appointed day arrived. From far and near the people gathered, and thronged the great galleries of the arena, and crowds, unable to gain admittance, massed themselves against its outside walls. The king and his court were in their places, opposite the twin doors, those fateful portals, so terrible in their similarity.

All was ready. The signal was given. A door beneath the royal party opened, and the lover of the princess walked into the arena. Tall, beautiful, fair, his appearance was greeted with a low hum of admiration and anxiety. Half the audience had not known so grand a youth had lived among them. No wonder the princess loved him! What a terrible thing for him to be there!

As the youth advanced into the arena he turned, as the custom was, to bow to the king, but he did not think at all of that royal personage. His eyes were fixed upon the princess, who sat to the right of her father. Had it not been for the moiety of barbarism in her nature it is probable that lady would not have been there, but her intense and fervid soul would not allow her to be absent on an occasion in which she was so terribly interested. From the moment that the decree had gone forth that her lover should decide his fate in the king's arena, she had thought of nothing, night or day, but this great event and the various subjects connected with it. Possessed of more power, influence, and force of character than any one who had ever before been interested in such a case, she had done what no other person had done - she had possessed herself of the secret of the doors. She knew in which of the two rooms, that lay behind those doors, stood the cage of the tiger, with its open front, and in which waited the lady. Through these thick doors, heavily curtained with skins on the inside, it was impossible that any noise or suggestion should come from within to the person who should approach to raise the latch of one of them. But gold, and the power of a woman's will, had brought the secret to the princess.

<>

And not only did she know in which room stood the lady ready to emerge, all blushing and radiant, should her door be opened, but she knew who the lady was. It was one of the fairest and loveliest of the damsels of the court who had been selected as the reward of the accused youth, should he be proved innocent of the crime of aspiring to one so far above him; and the princess hated her. Often had she seen, or imagined that she had seen, this fair creature throwing glances of admiration upon the person of her lover, and sometimes she thought these glances were perceived, and even returned. Now and then she had seen them talking together; it was but for a moment or two, but much can be said in a brief space; it may have been on most unimportant topics, but how could she know that? The girl was lovely, but she had dared to raise her eyes to the loved one of the princess; and, with all the intensity of the savage blood transmitted to her through long lines of wholly barbaric ancestors, she hated the woman who blushed and trembled behind that silent door.

When her lover turned and looked at her, and his eye met hers as she sat there, paler and whiter than any one in the vast ocean of anxious faces about her, he saw, by that power of quick perception which is given to those whose souls are one, that she knew behind which door crouched the tiger, and behind which stood the lady. He had expected her to know it. He understood her nature, and his soul was assured that she would never rest until she had made plain to herself this thing, hidden to all other lookers-on, even to the king. The only hope for the youth in which there was any element of certainty was based upon the success of the princess in discovering this mystery; and the moment he looked upon her, he saw she had succeeded, as in his soul he knew she would succeed.

Then it was that his quick and anxious glance asked the question: "Which?" It was as plain to her as if he shouted it from where he stood. There was not an instant to be lost. The question was asked in a flash; it must be answered in another.

<>

Her right arm lay on the cushioned parapet before her. She raised her hand, and made a slight, quick movement toward the right. No one but her lover saw her. Every eye but his was fixed on the man in the arena.

He turned, and with a firm and rapid step he walked across the empty space. Every heart stopped beating, every breath was held, every eye was fixed immovably upon that man. Without the slightest hesitation, he went to the door on the right, and opened it.

Now, the point of the story is this: Did the tiger come out of that door, or did the lady ?

The more we reflect upon this question, the harder it is to answer. It involves a study of the human heart which leads us through devious mazes of passion, out of which it is difficult to find our way. Think of it, fair reader, not as if the decision of the question depended upon yourself, but upon that hot-blooded, semi-barbaric princess, her soul at a white heat beneath the combined fires of despair and jealousy. She had lost him, but who should have him?

How often, in her waking hours and in her dreams, had she started in wild horror, and covered her face with her hands as she thought of her lover opening the door on the other side of which waited the cruel fangs of the tiger!

But how much oftener had she seen him at the other door! How in her grievous reveries had she gnashed her teeth, and torn her hair, when she saw his start of rapturous delight as he opened the door of the lady! How her soul had burned in agony when she had seen him rush to meet that woman, with her flushing cheek and sparkling eye of triumph; when she had seen him lead her forth, his whole frame kindled with the joy of recovered life; when she had heard the glad shouts from the multitude, and the wild ringing of the happy bells; when she had seen the priest, with his joyous followers, advance to the couple, and make them man and wife before her very eyes; and when she had seen them walk away together upon their path of flowers, followed by the tremendous shouts of the hilarious multitude, in which her one despairing shriek was lost and drowned!

<>

Would it not be better for him to die at once, and go to wait for her in the blessed regions of semi-barbaric futurity?

And yet, that awful tiger, those shrieks, that blood!

Her decision had been indicated in an instant, but it had been made after days and nights of anguished deliberation. She had known she would be asked, she had decided what she would answer, and, without the slightest hesitation, she had moved her hand to the right.

The question of her decision is one not to be lightly considered, and it is not for me to presume to set myself up as the one person able to answer it. And so I leave it with all of you: Which came out of the opened door - the lady, or the tiger?

Friday, February 18, 2011

i love crystal renn


I'm going to try to buy her book this weekend! Read an excerpt of Hungry here.

LA Riots @ Kelly's Mission Rock



I had a lot of fun brainstorming with Angel on this one. Obviously added to the excitement that it was for the LA fucking Riots (!!!!), and I got to sketch the little spaceship! We were so happy with this one, as well as our friends and dudes from All Hazards, but a lot of changes to the lineup and promotional tactics occurred within 2 days of its creation, so Animal House VIP had to create another one real quick.


This is the current version in circulation.


See you there, bangers 'n mashers.

Electro Wars: Major Lazer Nite



For our second party, Angel and I did an initial sketch that was much more cartoony and scenic, incorporating one Major Lazer riding the back of a cute little diplodocus. When I left Angel to his craft, he went through a laborious process trying to recreate our original idea. So he eventually ditched it altogether and created this sensory explosion (using screen stills from the "Hold the Line" video), which I couldn't have been more thrilled about.

This party was cool because literally 90% of the DJs were from Davis. But me not being able to enter with my neon toy rifle to my own fucking party--not cool.

Asshole Bouncer: Ok what's that for?
Me: Uhh... for a good time!
Asshole Bouncer: Ok you're going to have to put that back in your car.

Idjiot. I even left the bullets at home, sheeish.

Electro Wars: Daft Punk Nite



I realize I haven't posted any of our fliers from our first couple parties. This one was designed by Clinton Andor and me via several difficult email/phone conversations with no help from Photoshop, as Clinton's computer crashed a week before. Considering the circumstances I think we made a pretty cute/retro/simple poster. Amazing party, been a long time coming :)

bitchbitchbitch


"fuck this place, and all the lame ass kids who are killing this scene by turning raves into clubs"

some kid on our la riots event page.

i lol'd so hard. kinda wish the other admin hadn't deleted it ahahha.


Thursday, February 17, 2011

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

late nite chats with my booboo

"are you still dating that asshole"
"haha which asshole"

goddammit mark..

"cuz homegurl im lonely and sometimes it feels good to sleep next to an asshole than to sleep next to no one"

HAH. aaw. i miss my marky.

le sigh.

Words of Wisdom a la Nicki Minaj



SHOULDA SENT A THANK YOU NOTE, YA LIL HOE!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

THIS MADE MY DAY

Monday, February 14, 2011

are all djs whores?

keebz: oh btw dude
keebz: so you remember how back in the day (aka maybe 3 weeks/1 month ago) we couldn't get VDJ hooked up to my decks and mixer and couldn't find a button to sync bpms?
me: mmhm
keebz: got them hooked up (albeit to traktor, not vdj [although i actually think traktor is a much better interface]). found the button.
me: ohhh beautiful
keebz: soo if you want to mess around with my stuff at any point let me know
keebz: wait that sounded like a terrible pick up line?
me: ahahhHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA
me: it sounded incredibly self sacrificing

that's what friends are for <3

10 Rando Thoughts Before I Go to Sleep

1. Today I realized that Urban Outfitters is the place you hear the original versions of songs that mainstream rap artists these days sample from. I didn't know those casino machine sounds from Missy Elliott's "Lose Control" was ripped from the 80s. Hm.

2. Cat Power's "Love and Communication" is a crazyass song. It's my go-to "I don't know how I feel but I don't want to listen to anything overtly depressing so at least let me be moody" song.

3. On a similar note, her "Sea of Love" cover is, as much as I hated Juno, undeniable. <3

4. I wish one day Beck could write me an album.
Lucky snatch.

5. I am constantly caught between what I know makes me happy and what I have been socially conditioned to believe will bring me happiness. Most times I feel enslaved, but sometimes I perpetuate my own victimization. Lose-lose.

6. I am confused...

7. I'm much more productive in the real world. And happier. But times like these I really miss my little college bubble.

8. Why is it so fucking hard to get a bike fixed in the city? I guess living in the bike capital of CA for the past four years got me accustomed to a certain standard of living. I lived next to a public bike pump for half my Davis life. Everywhere you turned there was a bike shop. Even one on campus. Not here. 50 cents for air at the closest Shell. Air. Stupid.

9. The last two Valentines I had made me feel kinda dumb for buying into the commercialization. But I don't think a girl should ever feel guilty about wanting flowers.

10. One of my tattoos represents a theory I learned in the first acting class I ever took five years ago. It is the concept that we all have a core "I" that never changes within us, but according to who we're around, we alter that "I" into seven different "me's" to adapt to the unique needs of the situation.

I used to be the kind of person who had seven very distinguishable "me's". I wasn't very comfortable letting people see the "I". I was more concerned with behaving appropriately than being myself. As a result, I didn't like people very much.

But long story short, I got over it. I got over myself. And I love people now. I'm not scared to talk to people anymore.

And yet recently I find myself in a situation where "I" am so apprehensive about coming out. I hate it. I remember feeling this way all the time when I was younger. It's so crippling. I recognize the fear--fear of disappointment, repeating failures, etc. etc.--but it doesn't make sense that I care this much.

Well maybe I should own up to that first.

That's 10. Told you they were random.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The Girl and the Robot



Whoa. So much to say about this song.

First of all, I love it. God bless the Swedes on this collab.

Most pop songs either remain in a major key throughout the entire song or at least start out in minor chords and rewards you with a major chord release via chorus. Thus fulfills the formula of pop bliss.

"The Girl and the Robot" may be disguised as your standard electro-pop dance anthem but is actually miles apart from anything I've heard. It never strays from the minor key. You wait and you wait. But there is no chorus. There is no release.

And that's what makes it perfect. Though the melody abstains from relieving its own stress at any point during the song, it meshes beautifully with the emotionally bludgeoned state of the narrator. She's admittedly hit rock bottom as she pleads for her lover to call and waits relentlessly for him to come home. But just as our reward never arrives in the form of melody, he doesn't either.

It reminds me of Alexander Solzhenitsyn's short novel, One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich, which takes place during just a single day in a Soviet labor camp during the Stalinist regime. This book has no chapters. There are no breaks in pace as we sink deeper and deeper into the daily routine of Ivan Denisovich. He wakes up every biting, cold morning with dejection in his heart, and the only brief period of time is he able to shake himself from this cruel reality is when he shuts his eyes and goes to bed. End scene.

Denisovich's doom is as constant (though obviously not equatable in nature--well, maybe) as Robyn's as she drives the melody through a string of accusive verses but never achieves gratification.

Maybe that's why I can listen to this song over and over and over and over again. I'm so fascinated by the melody that I keep waiting for the chorus to come. But of course it doesn't. So I play it again because subconsciously I am still expecting.

But when has something good ever come out of expectations?

And since when did this post about a great song turn into yet another existential self-jerk?

Life.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Haterade. It tastes so gud.

i can't tell you how much i love it when i hear a good dj ripping on the bullshit pretty boy famewhore ones. and i fucking LOVE that if you start to type in "why do people hate tiesto" or "why do people hate david guetta" on google, you don't even have to complete the question. millions have asked before you.

try the same question with boys noize, justice, or mstrkrft--no results.

so put your hands in the air if you're just another "elitist prick" who loves to hate on a "good artist because he gets very popular".

-.-

or, you can put your hands in the air if you just plain and simple hate repetitive, banal trance music, the commodification of yet another punk identity, and of course, djs who think they're heirs of the holy grail.


Saturday, February 5, 2011

"Bitches on my dick cuz I look like edward james olmos"



what an asshole <3